The child’s first instinctive reaction to anger is to explode. This has a natural purpose, but we must work to change it in some way so that we can fit into the world.

Our goal should always be—every time we intervene in our children’s lives—to help them learn what will work for them or support them as they grow older. Think for a moment about how an adult would best deal with anger. He or she will try to regain their balance. A person who has been mistreated in some way needs to be able to express it out loud, condemning the person who has wronged them, and to do so early (before their anger leads them to violence). Anger and violence are not the same thing. Violence is anger that has gone astray.

An adult learns to moderate his or her anger and its effects, not to cause damage or to act aggressively. If a child shows little anger, he or she may be seen as submissive, which may lead to other children provoking or exploiting him or her. Excessive anger; The child may lose popularity or may lead others to label him as violent.

Restoring a good balance is what the child needs to learn, and this requires a few years of training from early childhood.

To help children cope with anger

1- You must insist that the child uses words rather than actions to express his anger. The child should express his anger openly and give reasons for this anger if possible.

2- Help your child connect his feelings to their causes. Talk to him to find out the reasons for his anger. Sometimes a young child needs help to get his finger on the secret of his anger.

(Are you angry with Josh because he took your toy?)

(Are you tired of waiting for me to finish talking?)

This way he will soon be able to express his distress and the reasons that made him feel that way, instead of resorting directly to impulsive reactions.

3- You must make the child understand that his feelings are heard and accepted (but this may not always work to change things).

(You're right to be mad at me. I couldn't hear you, but I can hear you now.)

Or (I know you’re tired of waiting in this store and so am I, but we have to accept the reality. Is there something else you can do to make yourself feel better instead of upsetting your brother?

4- Teach your child directly that hitting is not an acceptable way to deal with anger. Confront the matter directly and state the negative consequences every time the child resorts to hitting. You must insist that the child do what he should do in the first place (be sure to use words most of the time)!

5- Help your child express his desires. He will usually start complaining and grumbling about things he doesn’t want. He needs your help to be more positive.

(He’s hitting me).

(Be harsh on him and tell him to stop it)

Mira took my bike.

(Go and ask her to give it back to you now. Tell her it’s your bike and you want it).

6- Be a role model. They will likely tend to act the way you act rather than say what you say; so you must Be a role model for what you want them to be. When you get angry, express your anger openly. Get angry and express your anger quickly before it gets the best of you, because when you deal with anger, you release it and your children learn that anger can be expressed and then released. Express anger simply and consistently with simple words.

(I'm angry)

(You're annoying me!)

(Stop interrupting me!)

(I'm upset because you didn't stick to what we agreed on. What's going on?)

A child learns to control anger better from a father who expresses his feelings moderately than from a father who is always calm, wise and content. A child needs to see his father as a normal person like all other people.

You can get very angry with your children without resorting to aggression or belittling them. Just stick to expressing feelings directly and explaining the reasons. Expressing anger in the right way may take time for children. You should be happy if your children are able to control themselves a little when they feel angry. You will see that they seek to control themselves and refrain from hitting another child or hitting you, or expressing their anger by saying (I am angry). Many adults have not yet learned such lessons, and this means that you are making good progress.