10:45:9 
2025-07-23 
85
No matter who you are, there is no doubt that someone will hurt you at some point in your life. There will always be someone who annoys you, betrays you, or behaves in a way you find inappropriate.
Although experiencing such feelings is completely natural, it is unhealthy to let these emotions take over your life or influence it for too long. The ability to forgive others is an important secret to happiness. If you refuse to forgive, you will spend your entire life playing the role of the victim. For every minute you spend feeling bitter and angry, you miss a minute you could have lived happily!
The good news is that you can practice forgiveness once you fully understand the true meaning of this word. Forgiveness does not simply mean forgetting what someone has done, justifying or excusing their behavior, trusting their judgment blindly, giving up your legitimate rights, or reconciling with someone when there is a threat to someone’s safety or well-being. In other words, forgiveness is conditional on maintaining your rights and feelings.
Forgiveness is not a one-step process, and the greater the offense committed against you, the harder it is to forgive. But let me ask you this: is there any grudge you have been holding in your heart for a long time? Do something about it!
Start by fully acknowledging what happened and the pain it caused you. Then decide exactly what forgiveness means in this specific context of your experience and in light of the person who offended you. It may depend on the degree of betrayal and the intentions of the other party.
Make a real effort to understand the other person’s situation and what led them to do what they did, which ultimately hurt your feelings. Allow yourself to feel some compassion for them whenever and wherever possible, even if only for a few moments.
Look at the experience as a lesson you have learned, and try to find a new meaning in it that compensates for your pain. Can you learn anything from this experience, or see life as richer because of it?
One of the most important steps in the process of forgiveness is to discuss all aspects and issues related to the matter with the person or people involved. Let them know how you feel, and avoid blaming. You will find that forgiveness benefits both sides and can even pave the way for a new friendship or relationship.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it opens the way for the future.
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