11:58:5 
2025-07-27 
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A loving and nurturing mother can provide a safe foundation from which her child can explore the world. However, even the most caring and affectionate mothers may sometimes find it difficult to give their children the freedom they need. Your relationship with your child needs to "breathe"—there must be room for both of you to come together and then gently part. You will need time and space to care for yourself and tend to your adult relationships, just as your child needs space to build confidence and independence.
Making Room for Growth
Some women struggle with allowing their children to grow up. They cherish the days of early childhood and enjoy fulfilling all the physical and emotional needs of their young children. But little boys need to grow. In his book How to Turn Boys Into Men Without a Man Around the House, Dr. Richard Bromfield refers to such mothers as “child holders.” When a mother clings to her child for too long, insists on keeping him a child, and refuses to let him become independent, she causes him to “fall behind his peers, making him less capable of handling frustration, taking responsibility, and engaging socially.” These mothers can hinder their Childs’ natural development by becoming so attached that they prevent them from achieving freedom and independence.
To truly love your child means teaching him the skills and behaviors he needs to eventually leave you. When your child builds his own life, you’ll realize that you taught him how to function independently and become a healthy, confident man. Independence does not mean the end of love and connection—it marks the beginning of a new phase in your relationship with your child.
A Gentle Warning
Over time, your child will begin to grow apart from you, spending more time with new friends and in new activities. Taking care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being is a key component of raising your child. He needs to know that his mother has her own life, which in turn gives him the freedom to live his own.
Other Relationships
As your child grows, he will form new friendships and relationships outside the family. Some of these connections won’t include you—especially as he enters adolescence—at least not directly. A wise mother understands that she won’t remain the center of her child’s life forever. Other relationships—with friends or even romantic partners—will become more significant as your child matures.
Your ability to listen will be invaluable as your child builds his own life. As the old saying goes, “If you love someone, set them free.” This applies to your growing child; he’ll appreciate staying connected with you when you are able to open your hands and allow him to test his wings and fly.
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