We can easily claim nowadays that everyone has friends. Hardly do we see any unsociable or aloof individuals who prefer to be alone. It’s also very easy making friends, he/she doesn’t have to be physically there beside you, you can befriend someone through social media and never meet, yet you share your secrets to them and consider them as your friends.
Now have you asked yourself the question of "what is the significance of having friends?"
Are they just for having fun and spending time with? Or do they affect who we are and our behavior, social life, morals, or maybe even religion.
We can agree that friends do have some sort of influence on us.
But how do we know who to befriend? Is there ways to know if this friend is going to change the way people look at you, in other words, your reputation?
Let’s say you and your friends are at the mall and you’re looking for some new clothes. You go in a store and you see something nice for yourself, your friends however say that it doesn’t look nice and recommend you choose a different garment. Now most of us, actually, will prefer the selection of our friends over ours. Hence, friends have a huge say and influence on us even in the little things.
Now sometimes this can be a good influence but at times it is a bad one and this all depends on the type of friend and your connection with him/her.
Good friends can be like members of your family, if not even closer, the ones that you call bro or brother. When you find friends that want the best for you, hold on to them. Unfortunately, they are not all like that. There are also toxic friends who can damage you, physically and emotionally.
Now let’s look how a toxic friend is:
-A friend that uses you. This is pretty common in society. When they need you, you have them being so nice to you and pretending like they’re your best friend but at any other time, you don’t even exist to them.
-A toxic friend talks about you behind your back. Instead of facing the issue and talking about it with you directly, they would rather rant to their other friends, and leave other people with a biased impression of you.
- A toxic friend likes to bring up past mistakes. To make you feel bad, they will remind you of embarrassing things and stupid mistakes you’ve made in the past. They never forgive and they never forget.
- A toxic friend loves drama. They become angry over little things and even start a fight with you.
-Pushes you to do the forbidden.
Let’s take a look at a few traits of friends that you should hold onto.
-The Ability to Listen: A true friend will focus entirely on you and actually hear what it is you’re saying. If you need advice, they’ll listen to what you need, repeat back to you some key points to ensure they got all the information, and then give you some tips and pointers. Whether you’re heartbroken, elated, or just in need of a sympathetic ear, you can be sure that when you’re talking, your words are being heard.
Honesty/Sincerity: a true friend never deceives or betrays, like what we talked about last night.
Dependability: They got your back for everything and you can easily depend on them.
Guidance: A good friend guides you to the right and away from the wrong.
Presence: If you were to delete all of your social media accounts today, how many people do you think would still be in touch with you next week? Who would text or call you? A true friend is one who checks up on you and is always there beside you.
The traits mentioned above are just a few that are associated with good, true friends, but there are many others. Keep people in your life who enhance your life, who make you feel appreciated and boost your spirits, and whom you would truly miss if they were gone.
Good friendship is a blessing from God's grace on us, and we appreciate this grace. Because we cannot live this life without someone caring for us, someone who we can depend on and someone who helps us in our hardships.
Prophet Muhammad says: “If Allah wants good for someone, He will provide him with a good companion.”
Imam Sadiq says, “Man is resurrected alongside his friend on the Day of Judgment.”
Imam Sadiq also says, “Tell me who you accompany, I tell you who you are.”
A prime example of perfect companionship are the companions of Imam Hussein (PBUH) who describes them by saying: “By Allah I have not found people more loyal than my companions.”
The companions of Imam Hussein reached a rank that an infallible Imam such as Imam Al-Baqir and Imam Al-Sadiq say to them "May My father and mother be ransomed for you."
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