4:13:27 
2023-08-21 
539
It's no secret that parents don't always agree on parenting, even in the happiest marriages (or the most peaceful divorces). Usually one parent is strict while the other is more lenient and parents sometimes argue about who is right when neither method is actually successful. In general, parents should do their best to work out their differences and form a united front when dealing with their children. However, it is sometimes difficult for the father to know when to back off and let the mother deal with the matter in her own way, and when to intervene.
During the boy's infancy and young adulthood, most educational issues are handled by the mother. A close relationship and a strong bond develop between young boys and their mothers, which worries some fathers. Even the most enlightened fathers may sometimes worry that this closeness to the mother will make the boy very attached to his mother or make him “mama’s boy”, which is an old term that still carries the same meaning.
You can support your son by supporting his mother. Many parents admit that they feel a little jealous of this closeness between the son and his mother, especially during his first years of life, but parenting is not a competitive process (at least it shouldn't be!)). Your son benefits from the relationship he has with both of you. Here are some suggestions to support the bond between your son and his mother:
• Give your son permission to feel close to his mother and that he needs her from time to time. This may seem like a given, but some men shame their sons because they need a hug or tangible physical solace from their mother. Make sure your son knows that you understand his love for his mother and that you encourage him.
• Be an active party in taking care of your son and caring for him from birth until he leaves home. Try to learn the necessary skills and then spend as much time as you can caring for your child, both physically and emotionally. If his mother objects or declines your participation, gently remind her that you are also the father of the child and that he needs you both.
• Support your child's mother when she disciplines her. When parents disagree about parenting in front of their children, they learn the art of manipulating them. Learn everything you can about parenting, and if you disagree with a particular decision, talk to your wife about it privately and work out solutions together.
• Treat your son's mother with respect. Your son will learn how to treat women by watching you. Do your best to speak calmly and respectfully, even when you disagree. Avoid criticizing your son's mother in front of him.
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