What children learn from their mothers?

11:45:14

2023-05-30

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Boys learn their first lessons about love and trust from their mothers. Dr. William Pollack believes: ((The mother's love does not make the boys weaker, but rather it can make them stronger and it makes them so, emotionally and psychologically. It also does not make the boys dependent, it is the bond that the son can depend on throughout his life. His life gives the boy the necessary courage to discover the outside world. Perhaps the most important thing is that this love does not make the boy behave in the manner of girls, but that a loving mother actually plays an essential role in helping her son to develop his masculinity.))

The importance of loving shelter

In the first years of his life, we find the little boy confused between two options: he longs to explore, climb, jump, and run, and he needs to stay near adults who make him feel safe. In fact, when boys begin to walk and exercise some independence, their activity reflects this dual need. They wander away from the mother (into the back garden, on the playground or to the neighbour's house) and then quickly return for a quick chat or a hug just to make sure she is around.

Some mothers, influenced by mainstream civilization's messages about true masculinity, believe they should push their children away from them emotionally. And often at an early age, at the age of two or three years. Your son needs to communicate with you throughout his life, up to and through adolescence. Be careful about violating his privacy, but staying away from your son and separating from him will do him more harm than help him.

Your son will learn self-respect and confidence when you provide him with a loving and secure base at home. When you can develop a sense of belonging and importance in your son, and teach him life skills and temperament, and when you adopt a gentle and firm upbringing with him, he will learn confidence and be able to face challenges and move freely in his life. When you make sure to listen to him and focus on solutions to the problems he faces, you teach him emotional awareness and good judgment. A strong, loving relationship with a good mother can help a boy learn the skills of intimacy, support him in developing respect for other women, and prepare him for a satisfying relationship one day.

Know when to set him free

Even the wisest of mothers can find it difficult to give their child freedom in the appropriate way when he begins to exercise his independence. Your son's desire to do things on his own, from getting dressed to reading a bedtime story may seem like a personal rejection of you. One of the paradoxes of parenting is that when you do your job well as a mother, your son will eventually leave you.

You will learn as your son grows how to find the balance between providing support and stepping back to let him learn from his own experiences...and his mistakes. Clinging to him strongly can generate a strong struggle between you, especially in adolescence (which is a bumpy period even for mothers and children close to each other). Teach the skills, listen well and often, then trust your son and let him go.