In this article we will continue our discussion regarding The Treatise of Rights by Imam Zayn Al-Abidin (AS). We will discuss the Right of the Child. Regarding this, the Imam (AS) has said:

And the right of your child is that you should know that he is from you and he will be ascribed to you in this world due to both his good deeds and his evil deeds. And you are responsible for what has been entrusted to you in teaching him good conduct, and guiding him toward his Lord and helping him to obey Him on your behalf and for himself. Then you will be rewarded for so doing, and you will be punished.

Then regarding his affairs, act like one who will be proud of bringing him up in this world, and one who is excused by his Lord for what is between you and him for taking good care of him, and the good results you achieved. And there is no power but in God.

If one were to closely analyze the Imam’s saying regarding the rights of a child they would surely notice that the Imam (AS) is emphasizing that a father should not forget that the child is his and that the child’s good or bad deeds will be ascribed to him. And that he is responsible for guiding the child to obey God, and to teach and educate him. Also father should not be indifferent to the result of the deeds of his child. There will be rewards for the child’s good deeds, and punishment for the child’s bad deeds for the father, too. Lastly a father should do his best to raise the child so that his excuse is acceptable both to his child and God.

In order for a child to fully develop in a normal and stable manner the parents must encourage good and positive behaviour, and discourage and work on eliminating the child’s wrong or harmful inclinations.

Imam Sadiq said:

“Three rights for the child are incumbent upon his father: selecting a (good) mother for him, giving him a good name, and exerting the utmost effort in raising him well.”

Thus Imam Sadiq has considered that parents must exert all efforts to raise their children.

Regarding this topic Imam Sajjad (AS) said:

“O God! Please help me in raising and educating my children and making them good people.”

Thus, we realize that raising children is a hard task and everyone should seek God’s help in this important affair.

Raising a child or a number of children is by no means an easy task. When raising children parents must consider many important and essential factors, one of which is the children’s rights.

Children have certain rights over their parents from the time that they are born. The first right relates to naming them. This right has been mentioned in many traditions. The Prophet said:

“Among the rights of child over the father are that he chooses a good name for him, and raises him well.”

The Prophet said:

“Give your children the names of the Prophets. The best names are Abdullah and Abd al-Rahman.” He (PBUH) has also said: “Children have three rights over their father: that he give them a good name, teach them how to read and write, and marry them off when they mature.”

Regarding this Imam Ali (AS) has said:

“The right of a child incumbent upon his father is that the father should choose a good name for him and teach him good etiquette and the Qur’an.”

In order for a child to fully develop they need both physical nurturing as well as mental and spiritual nurturing. The food for their spirit consists of the training and care they receive from their parents. Children need both food and love. The Prophet said:

“Love your children, and be kind and merciful to them. Fulfill your promises made to them since children consider their father to be the one who provides for their sustenance.”

Loving the children and fulfilling promises made to them are stressed here so that they do not learn to break their promises. There are many ways to express your love. One way is to kiss and hug them when they are small. The Prophet said:

“Kiss your children. There is an elevation in your rank in Paradise as a reward for each kiss. Each raise in rank is as much as five hundred years.”

Regarding this Imam Ali has said:

“Kissing the child is mercy. Kissing the woman is desire. Kissing parents is worship, and kissing one’s believing brethren is religion.”

Nurturing a child early in life may help him or her develop a larger hippocampus, the brain region important for learning, memory and stress responses, a new study shows.

Previous animal research showed that early maternal support has a positive effect on a young rat's hippocampal growth, production of brain cells and ability to deal with stress. Studies in human children, on the other hand, found a connection between early social experiences and the volume of the amygdala, which helps regulate the processing and memory of emotional reactions. Numerous studies also have found that children raised in a nurturing environment typically do better in school and are more emotionally developed than their non-nurtured peers.

Brain images have now revealed that a mother’s love physically affects the volume of her child’s hippocampus. In the study, children of nurturing mothers had hippocampal volumes 10 percent larger than children whose mothers were not as nurturing. Research has suggested a link between a larger hippocampus and better memory.

This clearly shows that the words of our beloved Imam is backed up by scientific evidence, the Imam (AS) didn’t talk out of thin air.

Although Islam advises us to love our children, it admonishes us against excessive love, and its possible side effects. Imam Baqir said:

“The worst of fathers is one whose kindness (to his children) drives him to excess. The worst of children is one whose negligence leads him to undutifulness (towards parents).” 

Excessive love for the children might spoil them and make them haughty and selfish. Imam Ali said:

“The worst of affairs is to be pleased with oneself.”

Another right of a child is to respect their gender. Many people around the world look down upon a man who has several daughters. This is the specific ideology the Prophet (PBUH) was sent to fight. Parents should thank God for the children that God grants them. They should realize that children are God’s trust in them. They should realize their heavy responsibility and exert all efforts to educate and raise them. The Immaculate Imams expressed that girls should be treated more kindly than boys are. This is really stressed in the sayings of the Prophet and the Immaculate Imams . Consider the following tradition in this regard.

Hazieh Yamani quoted on the authority of God’s Prophet : “Your daughters are your best children.”

Regarding this Imam Sadiq (AS) has said:

“Daughters are good deeds, and sons are blessings. Good deeds will be rewarded and blessings will be questioned about.”

The Prophet was given the glad tidings that God had granted him a daughter. His companions were so upset about the news that one could notice it from their faces. The Prophet said:

“Why are you so upset? A daughter is like a flower that I will smell. God will give her daily bread.”

Ibn Abbas quoted on the authority of God’s Prophet :

“One who goes to the bazaar to buy a present for his family is like one who has given some charity to needy people. One must put a higher priority on giving gifts to his daughters over his sons, since making one’s daughter happy is like freeing a slave from the children of Ishmael.”

Imam Sajjad asked us to attend to our children’s affairs in such a way as to cause their social growth and increased honor. We should raise them in such a way that they can live with honor and be a source of honor for us. It was mentioned that excessive love for the child might spoil him and make him selfish. He will also be raised in such a way that he cannot rely on himself and become independent. Fathers should foster a sense of self-confidence in their children from their early childhood so that they can be strong in the face of hardships. Imam Sadiq said:

“Luqman said: O my son! You can benefit from politeness later if you learn to be polite when you are young. One who wants to learn to be polite makes an effort to learn. He will make all efforts to acquire educational sciences. Once he learns it, he can benefit from it. O my son! Always oblige yourself to perform your personal duties, and force yourself to withstand the hardships imposed on you by others. Do not be greedy with others if you hope to attain nobility in this world. Do not place any hopes in other people. The Prophets and the Saints have all been able to attain their higher ranks by cutting hopes off the people.”

We see that Luqman advises his son not to place any hopes in what others have; thus, he helps him develop to be independent. Parents should use these recommendations in raising their children