8:56:16 
2025-03-02 
228
No one is born with good judgment and the ability to make wise decisions; they come from experience and reflection. Your goal is to give your child experience in making decisions, and to make sure she has the opportunity to reflect on the consequences of those decisions. Here’s how:
* Practice makes perfect. Practice making choices before your child even starts talking, so that she finds it easier to make decisions. (Who cares if plaid clashes with florals? They look like rainbows. And if people don’t realize she put on her own clothes, you don’t really care what they think of your parenting style, do you?)
* Be clear about her control. Emphasize what she has the right to decide, and what you, as a parent, retain control over. (Yes, I think you can wear your superhero costume again, even though you’ve been wearing it every day this week. But you’ll need to change before we go to prayer, because we dress up to show respect. And you’ll need to brush your teeth. Do you want to do that now or right before you leave the house?)
* Help your child think about the potential consequences of her choices. (I wonder if you’ll feel too pressured to get your homework done if you add another after-school activity.) It’s equally important to give her the opportunity to think about the outcome of her decisions, which develops her good judgment. (I know you’re worried about playing with two kids at the same time this afternoon. Are you happy that you invited Clarice to join you and Ellie for a playdate?)
* Model decision-making. Share with your child how and why you’re making decisions from a young age. (I’d like our family to help with a school supply drive. All children deserve a good education, and this is one way to help.)
* Recognize that it’s okay for your child to make bad decisions. Every bad decision is an opportunity to reflect and develop good judgment, as long as you help her later reflect on how things might have been different if she had made different choices. Your child is still learning about herself and life, and she is bound to make bad decisions. If you can resist the universal urge to say, “This is what I warned you about,” you will be better able to accept the lessons she is learning.
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