10:35:55 
2024-03-02 
247
There are many situations in which a child’s selfishness is evident in his early years, the most obvious of which is the way he plays with others, his isolation with his toys, and preventing other children from sharing with him, and sometimes he tries to cling to their toys, and seizes their possessions with bullying and aggression, which may cause harm to them.
Parents lose their sanity in the face of such embarrassing situations that arouse their anger to the point of treating the situation with beatings! But this does not solve the problem! Rather, it will root selfishness in him, making him more stubborn and persistent.
Go back to the archive of your memories of raising him! Ask yourself: How did you deal with him in his early stages in terms of his joy and anger? What do you do when your child gets angry, and what do you do to make him happy? To reveal the reasons, because by knowing the reason, wonder will disappear! Through this, the appropriate treatment for his condition will be determined by specialists, or by reviewing education books for children.
Specialists' state that among the causes of selfishness is coddling and responding to the child’s anger, and trying to please him in all his situations without distinguishing between his correct behavior and his bad, or excessive sympathy for him when he is afflicted with something bad, sick, or assaulted!
The method we follow in pleasing children is often not educational, and therefore the following should be taken into account:
First: We must realize an important fact in education, which is that we should not respond to the child from the first moment he cries or gets angry. Rather, let us try to understand him in the way that he understands if his request is incorrect, and teach him what is correct, and let this be repeated from us with some firmness and discipline.
Second: (stir the spirit sharing)
Take advantage of the occasions of holidays, weddings, by entrusting him with the task of distributing sweets to children, or distributing food and water to them. Also, urging him to give the guests’ children - when they visit your home - has a great impact on developing the spirit of sharing.
Third: (Use dialogue techniques with him)
When he takes possession of other people’s toys, or prevents other children from approaching his toys, for example, enter into a dialogue with him, and listen to what he says in his responses about the reason for preventing others from participating in his toys? Use more than one method. Do not get emotional quickly. Your child's feelings and discipline take precedence over the issue of being embarrassed by the reaction of guests or others.
Fourth: (Make him feel safe)
Assure him that his toys cannot be taken by anyone, and at the same time help him to participate in his toys with others. Try to implement the details of his participation with others, and organize his role in the game. So that he feels psychologically stable and secure about his situation and possessions.
Fifth: (Change the subject)
Do not be harsh in forcing him to break his stubbornness if he clings to something he likes, but rather change the subject to something else, drawing his attention to something he likes, and be patient with his reaction.
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