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2023-10-28 
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Young children need more direct intervention from parents to learn what is unacceptable behavior.
When should parents intervene?
Parents are not policemen, but there are situations that require their intervention. One of these situations
* When the child's personal safety is at risk
* When there is something that causes harm to life, something that threatens life or humiliating emotional violence
* When verbal violence turns into continuous abuse on the emotional level (permanent oppression, calling names)
* When the younger child is in a vulnerable position
* When all the children demand a family meeting (at first, the parents should give suggestions: “How did you feel when Judy called you an idiot?” “Tell him it hurts your feelings!”)
Preventing quarrels in families with young children
If disputes and quarrels between young children continue without stopping, perhaps the reason is because they produce fruitful results... Children gain the attention of adults and other children, and thus make their way and establish their presence.
At the family meeting, explain to the children that you want a family without problems and quarrels. Make a list of the controversial behaviors that need to stop and tell them that you will keep the list. Explain the results or consequences: If there is a small dispute or quarrel (a quarrel over a toy or an object, for example), the parents will confiscate the object in question. When one of the children calmly and politely tells the parents who should get the item, they will return it. If there is a disagreement for no particular reason, you will ignore it.
If there is a loud argument or quarrel that disturbs or disrupts the others, you will send all the children to their rooms for ten minutes. Every child will get something to love for every day spent without fighting.
It may help you to identify a specific point that is free of quarreling and disagreement. This point will of course be a paradise for families, and it will also be a quiet place for any child who is sick or has work to do (perhaps a school assignment that has not yet been completed).
Here is how the three keys to learning can be used: imitation, cues, consequences; The two keys to resolving conflict in a no-win manner: communication and empathy, as effective strategies for exhausted and upset parents. You will also see the effectiveness of the strategies: ignoring, distraction and challenge!
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