Your son was not born knowing how to clean his room. Teach him the skills he needs to do what you expect of him, and do your best to keep your expectations reasonable and logical. When your son is young, you can work alongside him to teach him and he will know at a later stage how to do the work himself.
Consider planning regular family get-togethers as well as devoting time and energy to your child's training. If your child is over the age of four, set aside a time each week to meet as a family. Start praising the work well done; Create a schedule where family members can list problems they need help with. Work together to find solutions and reach agreements. You can check in the next meeting how well your plan is going. End the meeting with dessert, a joint game, or any fun activity that will bring the family together.
Connecting and learning
Remember the importance of connection. Listen to your son, play with him, and just spend some time with your son. When he feels connected to you and has a sense of belonging and importance, his bad behavior is likely to decrease.
It is also useful to remember that mistakes are opportunities to learn, and that you and your son will make mistakes, as this is inevitable. Mistakes are not considered a total failure, but rather they are opportunities to discover better ways to solve problems. Correct the mistake and then talk together about how to solve the problem, and there is no need to blame him or make him feel ashamed (for more specific information about discipline at different age levels, see the positive discipline series by Jane Nelson, Cheryl Irwin, and others).
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