3:24:49 
2023-08-19 
506
The axioms of education are that when parents bear a lot of responsibility, children bear little of it. Why should your son take any responsibility if you are doing everything right? Responsibility, or your ability to own up to your mistakes and successes, to follow through on a task and do what you promise, is one of the most important elements of good character. It is also one of the traits that many parents fear their children will never learn.
You can help your son with his homework and take care of him because you love him. But when you take responsibility for his daily needs, what does he learn? There is no doubt that you want your son to become a responsible young man, someone who can be relied upon, who is confident in himself and keeps his promises. However, exaggerating in helping him or failing to teach him the principle of questioning and accountability will likely encourage him to be irresponsible.
In fact, this kind of upbringing that builds character and a sense of responsibility does not suit you. It's much more fun to give your son what he wants (instead of what he needs) and it's definitely better for you to do the chores yourself than to let your son experiment. Your son will learn responsibility when you give him opportunities to experiment and practice. Here are some suggestions:
• Encourage your son to do everything he can do alone. Your son may not do tasks to your standards, but he will learn more by trying on his own than by watching you. Whereas, when you meet his needs right away and don't let him do anything, he will expect you to keep doing it.
• Don't push your son to make mistakes. Kind and firm upbringing and the discipline designed to teach him will allow your son to admit his mistakes (and learn from them) without fear or shame.
• Let your son test the results of his own choices. It is tempting to rescue your son when he gets in trouble, fails to do something, is lazy or uncooperative, but this does not teach responsibility and character.
• Stick to agreements to the end. Your son will learn to trust and matter when you stick to it. Treat him firmly, with kindness and respect, and do what you agreed to do.
• Problem-solving skills. A calm and friendly discussion is often the best way to help your son understand why he failed and how he can achieve a different result next time. Teaching your child how to think is more important than teaching him what to think.
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