1:41:51 
2023-07-25 
660
Understanding mastery and social comparison are very important because they are building blocks for self-esteem, that is, what we think of ourselves. When we think we have done a good job on a task, or when we feel that we are at least on par with our peers, we get a decent level of self-esteem. On the other hand, when we believe that we have not mastered a skill or do not live up to the standards set by our peers, our self-esteem tends to drop.
While we find it a natural process of self-evaluation, it can be a particularly difficult process for shy children. When they compare themselves to their peers, especially when they feel insecure, they tend to believe that their peers are superior or more likable than them.
After all, if a shy child feels nervous and anxious when he speaks in class, at a time when others do not feel anxious, he will think that he is not at the level of intelligence of his classmates, which in turn will affect his self-esteem and self-confidence.
But assessing self-esteem can become more complex, as often individuals compare themselves not to their peers but to themselves and their "ideal self" which is what they feel is the behavior they should follow. While this may help motivate someone to perform better, it can also be a trap for defeat. Because the individual will never live according to his ideal self.
Children who are always trying to achieve their ideal self may have difficulties accepting themselves, their fleeting failures, and their victories, which they often see as minor successes. Shy children may think that they must become very smart or extroverted in order to be appreciated or liked by others. Deep down, they don't feel smart or socially integrated and are afraid of being rejected and rejected by their peers, teachers or parents.
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