2:1:52 
2023-05-22 
296
Accept your children's friends even if you don't like them
Do your kids have friends you don't like? Like that naughty kid in your son's daycare who pulls his classmates' hair when the teacher is not looking. Or that girl in the fifth grade who keeps company with her classmates one day and then quarrels with them the next day? Or that 15-year-old slacking off his homework who you also suspect smokes!
Yes, over the course of your children's schooling, they will have friends that you wish they would never have. You may feel that they annoy your children, or that they have a "bad influence" on them, or they make them speak rudely to teachers or evade their duties. My mum hated any friends of mine who didn't speak "properly" (which was hard at that school in south London, which I went to…
So what can you do about this? Well, since you've read the title of this base of ours, I'm assuming you know what I'm going to say. Right - just accept them. Your child needs to learn how to choose his own friends, even if you don't like his choices. Your child must decide for herself that she is tired of her friend "Christie" who accompanies her one day and quarrels with her another, and your son must decide whether it is a good idea to evade the French language class with "Jake" or not.
In the end, their decisions will stem from the values you instilled in them; this will take some time - they will have to try some bad friends first until they get to know the good ones. So do not be very upset when you see your son go out with naughty children at the age of six. In the end, proper education will pay off.
Nowadays, your children learn a lot from their friends, good or bad. Failing the French language test because of his continuous evasion of classes will teach him an influential lesson. Perhaps more than his regular attendance and passing the test. Bad company teaches your children a lot, especially if you have raised them well.
And in general, how do you know that your children's friends are bad? Your child may have a desire to break some rules and that company helps, even if you don't like it. Perhaps that child who smokes is the most loyal friend that your son will find, and that friend who manipulates your child's feelings may be the only one who stands with her and defends her against those who bully her in class, or even makes her laugh when she is going through a bad day. Of course, you do not have to accept the idea that your child smokes or damages cars, but a friend who does such things may be a good friend.
How do you know that your children's friends are bad?
For me, although I prefer some of my children's friends over others, I accept them all, and even those whom I love to a lesser extent, they give my children something valuable. All my problems are actually with some of the parents of these kids.
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