Limits of social relations
3:39:22 2024-12-01 28

One stands perplexed before thoughts that stir in his soul regarding the limits of his social relationships. Does he have the full right to know the conditions of his relatives, acquaintances and friends in detail? Because he is close to them and wants to communicate with them, either to rejoice in their joys or to grieve in their sorrows, that is, to console and support them?! As if they inform him of their family occasions, and the calamities that befall them? He sees that concealing these matters from him is considered exclusion or ignoring him! Both of them are an expression of considering him a stranger and contain an insult and humiliation of his person in an indirect way that makes him upset!

 Some see that whoever thinks in this way is a curious and nosy person who causes harm to his acquaintances and relatives! While others find that he has the right to reproach them if they ignore him and do not inform him of what has happened to them, good or bad! So what is the standard that removes the conflict and determines the correct position?

 In Islamic religious standards, the boundaries of social relations are drawn based on mutual advice and communication. Everything that achieves fruitful, positive communication and mutual advice for the sake of truth and patience is recommended and desirable, if not obligatory; because {the believing men and women are allies of one another} and the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and his family, said: {The believers are like one body in their mutual love, mercy, and compassion; If one of his limbs complains, the rest of the body responds to him with wakefulness and fever. Imam al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “A believer will never be a believer until he is like a body to his brother. If one vein is affected, all of his veins respond to him.”

Comparing the relationship to the body is a subtle suggestion: that the connection is organic and cannot be separated, and the interdependence is extended and not limited except for what Allah Almighty has forbidden and prohibited.

 Here, the relationship rises to a level of cohesion and closeness that makes them one family. If one of them wants to exclude someone from them, it is either because he is not wanted or he does not see him as worthy of trust and communication. This reflects the existence of a defect in the nature of the relationship, its standards and foundations, because discrimination in communication is based on sorting with double standards and not one in evaluation. The religious and moral system makes the nature of the relationship communicative and interconnected, targeting fusion, harmony and organic interdependence for lofty purposes and goals that aim to build a society. Loving and peaceful, trusting each other and helping each other...

In a non-religious and ethical system, the standards differ, as interests and social privileges (such as prestige, authority, position, lineage, and wealth) are the standards adopted in the nature of the relationship in terms of depth and form. Here, some find that the consideration of some parties without others is based on a personal scale and on taking profit priorities. A friend who works as a manager in an institution is invited to their happy occasions, such as a wedding party, for example, while they do not care to invite their old friend from school days, who works in a simple sector!

 

So: The confusion about the boundaries of social relations is lifted if we can know the direction of people, their tendencies, and convictions, and what appears in their behavior and interests.

Accordingly, the standards of the pious differ from the standards of others who have interests in determining the nature of social relations and drawing their boundaries.

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