3:8:53 
2023-09-20 
138
This rule does not only apply to crisis situations, but in such situations it is extremely important. It may sometimes be said that children never listen to their parents! Well, that's not true. But in reality, they care less about your words than they do about your actions. Children can notice the slightest trace of inconsistency between words and actions, they cannot accept this, and they will immediately judge you based on your actions, not your words.
I'm not just talking about negative words and actions here, I'll give you an example of what I mean. I assume that you understand that there is no harm in expressing your feelings by crying, and that you tell your children this over and over again, but if they happen to see you go through a traumatic situation without crying, they will find it much more difficult to believe your words than if your words matched your actions. If there's no harm in crying (and it really is) then show them this. Let them see you cry without any embarrassment about it.
Your children will watch how you cope with difficult situations, and this will be their role model.
I know a couple who went through financial hardship several years ago, when the husband lost his job, and they were telling their teenage children that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having less money than others, and that they should not feel ashamed because they cannot buy the things that their friends buy, and on one occasion This family was supposed to have lunch with really rich friends, and here the parents parked the car in a far place for fear that their hosts would see the shabby, worn-out car in which they were riding, and the children noticed this contradiction directly. I know this ; Because the children themselves were the ones who told me about this situation!
This situation is an example of the famous phrase: “Do as I say, not as I do,” and this is something you can never say to your child. If you can do something, do it, and if you can't, don't expect your children to do it!
Your children will watch how you cope with difficult situations, and this will be their role model. Whether you are jealous, angry, narrow-minded, impulsive, out of control, embarrassed or submissive, they will grow up convinced that this is the right way to respond to this situation, even if you are calling on them with your words to act in the opposite way. Conversely, if you act with dignity, integrity, humanity, compassion and courage, this will influence them more than anything to the contrary you say to them.
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